Daddy's Little Freak
by MangaMistress
Summary: Does your dad hate you? Does your dad call you a freak because of what you can do? Does your dad hit you? Mine does, until someone found me. CHAPTER EIGHT UP!
1. I am a Freak

-1This is my first Cirque Du Freak fic; so try not to be too nasty to me please. I had another idea for a Darren Shan fic, but this one popped up and wouldn't leave me alone until I started typing it. Enjoy and please review.

Warning: this chapter will contain abuse. I you do not feel comfortable reading, then please turn away. Thank you.

Please don't come back tonight. Please don't find me. Why am I doing this? Oh yeah, I know why. If I don't I start to hurt badly until the pain nearly kills me and if I keep doing this, _someone_ will kill me for it. My name is Sarah. Right now I fear for my life. You see, I am a freak, that's what _he_ tells me, my dad. Ever since it happened. You see, I've always had a fascination with drawing. Ever since the first time I put pencil to paper I have never wanted to stop. My mother loved drawing too. She taught me how to use special paints, how to create realistic shadings and that when ever I feel upset I should draw what I feel because your emotions enhance what you draw and become your most valued tool. Dad's a lot different from mum; he hates drawing. He thinks it is a useless talent. He says, "Why draw landscape when you can take a picture of it. Just as good, if not, better." Mum always argued with him on that subject. She tells him that a photo can make an exact copy, which isn't good enough. A picture should have mistakes; it _should_ look different from the real thing. That way it feels more human. She paid for arguing with him many times. I've never seen him do it before, he always locks me in my room, but I can hear it all. I can hear the screams. I can hear the sound of bones break as dads fist collides with mum. One-day dad got really angry with her; all she did was buy me a new set of colouring pencils. But, dad doesn't like her going outside, especially with how she looks. Mum was always so thin and pale. She was very frail too; the slightest bump against anything would leave a bruise on her. So you could imagine how bad she looked when someone as burly as my dad hits her.

Usual routine: dad throws me in my room and locks the door. I cover my ears to block out most of the sound, which never works. Something different happened that night though. Normally after the punching is over I hear mum whimper and cry for hours until dad unlocks my door. That night, I couldn't hear anything that I normally did. I heard a rustling sound, like a plastic bag. Then the door opened and I could hear dad grunt and puff while the rustling continued. When it went quiet I peeked out of the keyhole, something I never did before. I'm always afraid of what I might see. I felt the bile rise in my throat when I looked. The laminate floors were smothered in a dark crimson glow. Blood. Mum.

That was three years ago. Since that night dad has never let me leave the house. He knows I wont tell anyone, but he's making sure of it. The front door has two large bolt locks. The windows are held down with glue and nails. The only place that allows me to experience the outside world is our balcony. Hear I can breath, hear I can feel rain pour down my face and when dad isn't around, hear I can escape. I still want to draw but there is nothing I can use here. Dad got rid of anything I could use to draw with, he wanted to make sure I never did anything mum ever done.

The first time I tried to sneak away I was so terrified. What if dad came back early, but I remembered he never did. He prefers to work long hours because it is away from me. My only way down from here is to climb down the pipe the runs down the wall. I nearly fell off that thing five times, but once I made it down safely, I could barely handle my excitement. We lived in an apartment in an old part of town; we were the only one's still living in it. Grass and trees surrounded the area; I had to make the most of this. I ran around wildly, jumping and turning cartwheels. I climbed one of the trees. It felt amazing, just to sit in amongst all these wonderful creations of nature. I knew it wouldn't last. I had to get back up before dad returned. My foot landed on something sharp when I got down from the tree. It was a bunch of white rocks; they crumbled easily, even under my weight. I picked one up and decided to keep it for the memory. A flower or bit of tree would die after a few days.

I returned to the balcony. Why didn't I leave? Where would I have gone? No one knows me around here. How would I fend for myself? That night, I felt happy for the first time in years. Actually I think it was the first time ever, well at least on my own. I gazed at the white rock, and then started to fiddle with it; tossing it from hand to hand and taping it along the ground. I discovered something amazing that night. The white rock left a white line when I dragged it along the ground. How happy I was that night. I could draw again. What made it better was that I could rub it away. Dad would never know. I could draw while he went away and rub it all away before he came back.

After a few days and nights of drawing on the balcony, I had an idea. I remember dad always complaining about beggars on the street. I learned about beggars over the news on the radio. (Dad doesn't like me watching the T.V; he threw it away years ago) I learned that beggars were either people who didn't have a place to live, so they begged for money on the streets or they used their talents to make money. I thought if I could do something like that then I could make enough money to feed myself. I didn't care if I lived on the streets, I could return to the trees and live there. I'm sure I could survive out there, even in the rain snow I wouldn't care. I could do it. When morning came I snuck down the building. I collected more of the white rocks and ran to the nearest road I could find.

It took a while for me to get to a town. I wasn't sure how long, I couldn't tell time, even with a watch. Mum tried to teach me it once, but dad said it was pointless to me.

Eventually I come to a small town. It's kind of busy, I'm not sure, I've never seen so many people in one place before, and this could be quiet day for them. There are a lot of tables with stuff on them. People on one side give money to the person on the other side for the stuff on the table. I think this is called a market, like in that pig thing mum used to do with my toes. A place where people can exchange money to get things they need. After wandering around for a while I found a spot that wasn't being used for tables. It was quieter here so I didn't have to worry about people walking over my drawings. I start by drawing the tree I climbed last night. I made it quite large so I could fit more detail in. It wasn't till I was nearly finished that I noticed no one walked by this place, I guess I wouldn't make much money if I stayed here. I picked up my rocks and left to find another spot to draw.

"You are very talented" I spun around. A very tall man in a red coat stood beside my picture. I wasn't sure how he got there. The street was dead end, how could he have got this close without passing by me?

"Trying to make some spare pocket money?" I nodded. He stood in front of me with his hand held out. He held out the one thing dad ever taught me about, money. He handed me a full twenty pound note. "Don't spend it all in one place now" Before I could even thank him, he disappeared. One minute I was standing next to him with a twenty-pound note in my hand, the next, he was gone. Strange. Where all people around here like this? I found myself grinning widely a the thought. I might be able to live longer out here than I expected.

I found a new place with more people around. This was where I discovered what made me a freak. A few people stopped to watch me draw; they seemed really amazed at how I could draw so well. One man looked straight at me, I liked how his hair looked: half of over his face, kind of spiky and it was a nice shade of brown. This was when it happened. As his gaze met mine, my eyes flew open suddenly. I could see images flashing in my head and then I felt this overpowering urge to draw them. My hand worked at an amazing speed, in a few seconds the images were on the ground. It looked so life like; I drew a woman. She was crying. I drew her sitting at a table with a bottle of pills at her side. I didn't know what to make of it, but the man who looked at me stood very still. His face went very pale. Then he ran away. It happened a few more times. I drew one person in the middle of a road with a car coming towards them, another person I drew with a knife up against their neck. They were all getting scared, but it wasn't my fault, when I shared a glance with them my hand moved on it's own. Later some more people came by, only they looked similar, they all had the same black clothes on. Two of them picked me up by the arms and dragged me away. When I asked what was happening they said I was disturbing the peace. We stopped in front of an indigo blue car and the black dressed men said, 'we found her'. The door opened, the men pushed me in and slammed the door behind me. I toppled onto the car floor and my face met with a pair of shiny black shoes. I had a feeling who it was, especially when I felt my hair being gripped tightly as I was pulled up to the seat.

"You little bitch!" He growled "You thought you could just leave and you'd never see me again? I could have kept you in the house completely, but I thought I would be nice and let you sit in the balcony. Not anymore do you hear me!" It hurt so much. Why did he hate? All I've ever done is draw. He pulled harder. I could feel blood start to seep from my scalp into my hands as I tried to pry my hair away from him.

Tonight was the worst dad has ever treated me. He pulled me by hair all the way up the stairs, not caring how much I was crying. When we got inside he threw me to the floor. I tried to crawl away, hoping he wouldn't do anything if left without a fuss. I was wrong. I only made him more angry.

OOOO

After all that he left me to cry on the floor. He called me so many names as he beat me. No matter how much I said sorry, no matter how much I begged him to stop he just kept punching me. He only stopped when said, " I promise…I wont draw again!" I tried explaining why I drew those things I saw in my head, but he called me a liar and a freak. I must be a freak. Those people looked so scared when they saw those pictures. Before he left, he held my battered face in his hand and gave me a light kiss on the forehead.

" I'll let you sit in the balcony one last time tonight, but tomorrow, I'll seal it up just like all the windows" I did a stupid thing. I looked at him, straight in the eyes. "But try anything and I will find you again . And next time I wont go easy on you" When he left I felt that urge again. I wouldn't let myself draw, I didn't want to go through that again. I then felt something twist in my stomach. Then in my head. I felt it everywhere. I screamed, the pain was agonizing. I staggered to the balcony. The night might not last much longer and this was my last chance to see the world. I fell over and landed on my arms, which caused me to screamed and cry again. Everything hurt so much and it wouldn't stop.

OOOO

It doesn't hurt anymore now. I found something on the balcony and the pain left me when I picked it up. A small piece of white rock that I left behind. As soon as I picked it up my hand moved along the ground and the pain started to go away. I am a freak. I can't even stop myself from doing something that could kill me. The moon helps me see what I'm drawing. I fear what ever I'm going to see. I'm guessing when I drew those pictures in the street I saw something that was connected to them and that's why they were so scared. I've finished.

"Oh no" I can see myself, lying on the ground with blood pooling around me.

The door to the balcony slid open. Sarah gave a loud shriek as she wiped her hand frantically across the ground in an attempt to remove the picture. She was too late, her father stepped out the door and found what she was doing.

"You ungrateful little bitch!" He shouted. He grabbed her by the arm and slammed her back against the metal railing.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I couldn't stop it! It hurt!"

"Liar! You're a freak! I wont let another freak live under my roof!" He swung his fist up to her chin and knocked her off the balcony. No one could hear her screams. No one could see her pain. No one will find her body. No one had to find her body, because someone did hear her screams. Someone caught her as she fell, from one of the lower balcony's someone caught her hand just in time and pulled her up.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wont draw again I promise! Even if it hurts me I wont draw again!

"I will not hear of such things" Sarah opened her eyes assuming to see her father. It wasn't him though, instead it was a tall man in a red coat.


	2. Mr Tall

-1I'm really surprised I got 4 reviews for this already, thought it would be weeks before I got that many. I know it seems like a small amount but I think any amount is amazing. I'm really ecstatic about this now. Thanks everyone and to those who are reading 'Family Reunion' I might be a while with the next chapter since I'll be writing this, but don't worry I'll be getting back to it soon. There is a one or two book spoilers in here so don't be mad at me if you haven't read the full saga.

I normally avoid looking into the future; some things should be left unknown. However, sometimes I am forced too. A few nights ago I had a vision of a young girl sprawled out on a grassy field with her body lying in a pool of her own blood. It's normal for me to have these kinds of visions about those I care for, but I rarely have any about people I don't know. The last time I had a vision like that was before I rescued Evra. He was treated so poorly in that place. If I hadn't saved him he would've died from starvation or more likely from untreated diseases. It's dangerous to interfere with the future. There are creatures deep within the world that could be unleashed if certain events-that shouldn't be-are altered. With Evra it was different, he was required for the future and it was not coincidence but, fate that the cirque happened to be camped a short distance away from the freak show he was captive in. It was the same with this vision, this girl must be important for the future otherwise I wouldn't have seen her. I found this girl the same way I found Evra; my senses simply directed me. The cirque had no performance that day so no one would mind if I left for a few hours, I doubt they would have argued even if there was, they all know I would only leave show preparations if it was necessary. I found myself in a small town. Barely populated, the occasional group of people but more or less quiet.

I had my first encounter of her. I found her in one of the dead end streets; she was drawing on the ground with some white chalk. One of my special abilities allows me to read minds, although it's not my strongest skill so even a simple human can block out their thoughts from mine without even trying. This girl though was different; she seemed to have no restraint on her thoughts whatsoever. Either she has a weak mind or is very open-minded. I sense a lot of strain on her mind, far more than what a child her age should be carrying. Her face told a different story; she was smiling so happily. I imagined this must a little getaway place for her. When she finished and started to walk away, I quickly glided over to see her little project. I pass by her in an instant, not even the most swift of vampires can detect how fast I can move. I expected to find simple squiggles and doodles, the usual thing a girl her age would draw with chalk. What I didn't expect to find was a masterpiece. It was amazing, how could a child draw such a thing. She drew a tree, but that would be putting it bluntly. She captured every detail, every indent in the bark and each vain in every leaf. A talent like this should not be wasted on streets. I thought it would be a nice gesture to reward her talent; it might encourage her to take it further than the pavements.

Later her talent seemed to take a different turn. The things she drew were scaring people, which wasn't the best way to go if she wished to make more money. I tried searching her thoughts again. These thoughts though, didn't feel like they were hers or even someone else's, they must be visions. Some one must have reported her because some police officers came by and took her away. I kept close by and soon she had been dragged to a blue car. A very fancy looking one too. The officers through her in, which really astounded me, I imagined them taking to the station or a police car. As soon as the door was shut the men walked away, removing their uniform in the process and dumping them in the nearby rubbish bin. Something wasn't right, I tried taping into the girl's thoughts and once I did, I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. I removed my hand, when I disconnected from her, to find blood.

I followed that car for nearly three miles, along the way I kept tapping into the girls mind. All that strain was releasing memories from her mind to mine. Her name is Sarah. She witnessed her mother's death. Her father abuses her and she nearly escaped from him. The car stopped in front of a rustic building, miles away from kind of civilisation. More visions of the future appeared in my gaze. These one's I could tell were close to come. Sarah would be beaten tonight and I would be unable to help her. My original vision of Sarah is the only one I can interfere with. Only the occurrence of her death should be changed, any other changes would unleash a catastrophe. I hide in one of the lower levels of building and sit patiently in the balcony a few floors beneath Sarah's. All the time I waited in that empty balcony was far from quiet. I could feel every blow that poor child took and each time I winced from the pain I could also hear her scream. No wonder her father keeps her hear, this place is completely abandoned and nowhere near any other houses. A perfect place for a man like him. I doubt very much that he lives here. I'm sure he keeps a place for himself in the city and only comes here when he feels like the small man. Beating a child to feel big, sickening. If I could I would try to absorb some of her pain, but my magic can't stretch that far. Fate is evil sometimes.

1 HOUR LATER…it's gone quieter. Sarah has stopped screaming now. After her father left I expected her pain to settle, but it only increased. Even I was struggling to cope with this level of pain, I couldn't imagine how bad it must have been for her. Now all I can hear are the sounds of hers sobs as she scraps that little piece of chalk along the ground. I can read her mind so clearly. She is confused as to why her father hates her so much. The names he spat in her face terrified her. The pain she was in only left her because she's doing the one thing that could land her in even more trouble. Most would have committed suicide at this point, but I don't think she knows how to do such a thing. She's been deprived of so many things that suicide does not even enter her mind. Her father's car has come back. Not enough he beat her and insulted her for nearly an hour, but he has to come back for another round. He's already in the mood to beat her again, if he finds her drawing, who knows what else he'll do. I hear Sarah give out a loud gasp; maybe she's seen her father and is starting to panic. An image suddenly flashes through my mind again, the same one I had before only these are her visions I am seeing. My moment is soon. I need to act at the right time or else she'll die. A sharp pain is sent through my back, but I keep my senses focused. Her screams and cries return and my heart rate is matching her own. The terror and fear filling her is trying to overflow and pour into my own soul. Keep focused. Now!

OOOO

She fainted shortly after I saved her. The shock finally got to her and no wonder. The combination of being beaten, caught drawing, thrown off the balcony, being pulled to safety and the realisation that it wasn't her father who saved her. He didn't take a sudden change of mind and decide to save her. He let her fall and it surprised me how he never even looked over to see her die.

I carried her to the Cirque Du Freak on my back while she slept. A few times I heard her mumble under her breath, hopefully she's dreaming of something nice. It's really late now so no one will see me. Good, this will be easier to explain in the morning. There's an empty tent near my van, I like to keep an extra one set up for occasions like these. I lay her down in the hammock and as I tuck her in I see her smile softly. As I lift myself up to leave I find my arm is being tugged on. Sarah's eyes have opened just slightly but I can still see fear clouding over them. I lean in when I see her trying to say something.

"Am I…in heaven?" She whispered. Mr Tall laughed a little and patted her head to comfort her.

"Better. You're home"

Well what do you think? I would have had this up sooner but I've been away doing other things that meant I was torn from my beloved computer.


	3. Something Good

-1It was nice to finally see the cirque again. Spending eight years in that mountain is not good for your health. I think my lungs went into a short stage of shock when I stepped into fresh air. Not sure what that feels like? Spend six years in a mountain, that has no windows (or holes in the wall, whatever you want to refer them to) with a bunch of smelly vampires, take very few showers because the only way to clean yourself is a dip into a freezing waterfall, stand outside and see how you feel.

Anyway, Mr. Crepsley, Harkat, Vancha and I arrived at the cirque in the middle of the night. We couldn't exactly arrive at any other time for obvious reasons. Using his mind link with Mr Tall, Mr Crepsley found the cirque quickly. The area was pretty remote so I guessed there wouldn't be show tonight, I would have to wait till the morning to see everyone. Shame, I really wanted to talk to someone, other than this lot (no offence to them) after the long trip. I wandered around the camp, while Harkat slept and Mr Crepsley and Vancha went to find Mr Tall. I was hoping someone would be up; maybe they couldn't sleep, decided to take a walk and would end up bumping into me. I was hoping more it would be Evra I bumped into. No such luck.

I soon found myself behind Mr Tall's van. It's easy to tell it's his because it's the biggest. I went to knock on the doors when I heard something in the nearby tent. I recognised that noise very easily, it's the same kind Harkat makes when he has nightmares, not as loud, but still very similar. It was important to never wake Harkat up because his dreams are important, but whoever this was would probably thank me. There weren't a lot of tents around the van-correction, there was only one tent-all the others were on the other side of camp. I didn't dwell on the thought.

I learned from Harkat that if I ever did have to wake him then I should always speak softly and shake him very gently. Any loud noises or rough movements could only make the nightmare worse. I stepped inside the tent and saw someone tossing about in his or her hammock. When I got closer I saw it was a little girl. Her face was soaked in sweat and she was gripping her blanket tightly. I shook her shoulders lightly.

"Hey, wake up. You're ok. Wake up" I continued to speak softly to her but it wasn't working. She must be in a really deep sleep. I still continued, Harkat said even when he was asleep he could often hear what went on around him and it sometimes soothed his nightmares. Just then her eyes opened slightly. I smiled at her but I wasn't given a similar reply. Instead she screams at me and kicks me in the chest. For a small kid she could sure kick hard, even for a half vampire. I quickly recovered and by that time she had fell out her hammock, stood up and was looking at me wide with eyes about to burst into tears. This is where I made a huge mistake. Instead of talking softly I shouted at her. I grabbed her arm, a lot tighter than I should have but I was angry and I got distracted.

"Hey I was only helping! Why'd you do that?" When I saw her wince I removed my hand. In that split second I realised what I'd done, she took that opportunity to attack me. She swiped her hand at me. I quickly turned my head, saving my eye, but my cheek was given the full brunt. They weren't deep slices but they still stung like hell. I pulled away and held my hand on my face to stop the bleeding. She started screaming again, thrashing around, falling to ground and digging her nails in the dirt. I tried calming her down with soft talk again, but there was no way she could hear me over her screams. I stepped back, unsure of what to do. Go find someone? But she could really hurt herself if I'm not here. As if he heard my thoughts (which I'm pretty sure he can do) Mr tall came bursting into the tent. He neither looked nor spoke to me. He darted straight for the girl, wrapped his arms around her completely and held tight while she kicked and screamed. The back of her head hit his face a few times and she kicked him firmly in the shins.

" Sarah you're Ok! He's not here. He didn't come back! You're safe! Wake up!" I tried telling him that yelling was only making it worse, but he just repeated himself, ignoring me. Mr Crepsley soon popped into the tent after a few seconds along with Vancha. Mr Crepsley's eyes flipped from Mr tall to me, trying to work out whom to help first. He pulled me over and quickly checked my face. He didn't speak because it started going quiet. The girl was no longer screaming, just breathing very heavily. She wasn't thrashing around anymore either but I could see her tense position in Mr Tall's arms. He lowered her slowly to the ground where she collapsed on her knees. Mr Tall let her go, but only to move in front of her. He crouched down blocking her from our view. Now this was something I didn't think I would ever see Mr Tall do; he hugged her. An actual hug. Arms embracing her gently, stroking her hair and a soothing voice keeping her calm while she wept into his shoulder. A normal human wouldn't have heard her muffled voice, however I'm not human. Through all the heavy whimpering I could just make out what she was saying.

"I thought…he…came back. Going…. to take…me away" Mr tall just shushed and rocked her. A few moments passed and none of us had moved. Evra came into the tent after a while, he didn't look the least bit shocked or surprised. We all left without a word when Mr Tall put Sarah back in her hammock (obviously I picked up her name from earlier) after she fell asleep from crying. Evra patted me on the back,

"Bet that was some welcome for you, eh, Darren"

Mr Crepsley went back to Mr Tall's van after rubbing some spit on my face. They'll probably be talking about the same thing we are. Evra set up a small fire; it was still late and kind of cold.

"What the hell did I do? All I did was help and I get turned into bat broth for it!" Evra and Vancha just laughed at me. After a while Harkat joined us and was soon taking part in my humiliation.

"Don't take it personally Darren. I'd hate to see what you'd be like when having nightmares like hers."

I gave him a puzzled look. "Wait, you mean you know what she was dreaming" it shouldn't have come as that big of a surprise; Harkat dreams the same thing every night.

" I don't know exactly, but she always shouts the same thing: 'don't take me away'. No one's ever asked her about them, I don't think she even remembers them the next morning. We had to tell her after she kept finding bruises all over herself." The rest of night Evra and I just talked about other stuff that happened to us over the six years I'd been gone. And when ever we could, we made fun of Vancha.

OOOO

MEANWHILE……..

…… Mr Tall sighed heavily as she slumped down in his couch. Mr Crepsley sat next to him. What to ask first? He thought to himself. He actually felt like laughing. It was strange and kind of amusing to see Mr Tall behave that way, sort of, fatherly.

"I never thought I would ever see you cuddle someone"

"Well then next I'll let you do it and see how you cope," He snapped. Larten apologised, knowing he probably would have done the same thing.

"So, I take she is the new Evra" Mr Tall nodded and began explaining how he found her. Larten was a close friend so he could feel comfortable telling him this kind of information. Larten was silent through the whole story and when Mr tall finished he just sighed and shook his head.

"That poor child. Darren told me that child abuse is becoming more common now. It was rarely even heard of when I was young"

"Poor is definitely one way to put it"

"What do mean, Hibernius?"

OOOO

"The first day she came here, after we gave her breakfast, she thought that was her meal for the entire week!"

No way Evra was being serious. (Our conversation eventually drifted back to Sarah. My curiosity gets the better of me every time)

"At first we thought she was joking, but at dinner she broke down in tears. I guess she couldn't believe that we ate that much." I asked why she would she think something like that but Evra wasn't sure.

"Who was she screaming about?" asked Vancha.

I'd actually forgotten about that.

"I don't know, but I suspect it's whoever Mr tall saved her from. What other reason would she be here?" Evra had a good point. Everyone in the cirque was asked by Mr tall personally if they wished to join. Usually those he found were rejected from the normal world and were more than happy to find a place that accepted them. Maybe Sarah had a talent?

"What does she do?" I asked.

"She can draw"

"Is that it?" Evra just tapped the side of his nose and said just wait till the next show.

When morning came the entire camp was a buzz of busy. Tents and belongings were packed away in their vans and the performers collected their equipment. By night time everything was ready to be moved. Harkat helped put in any way we could but their wasn't much we could do without being in the way.

Like before, it was as if Mr tall could read my; he said it would be best if I avoided Sarah for the day.

Suits me fine. I didn't do a very good job of it though. I ended up crossing paths with her nearly three times. And on each occasion she looked at me, her skin seemed to go pale with the second. Even though she bowed her head when she walked by me I could still the fear in her eyes. Harkat kept on asking what I had done to scare her so badly? All I wanted to say was I tried to wake her up, but that wasn't true. I shouted at her and I think I hurt her. Personally, with the way she looked at me that night I think she thought I was going to kill her. I know the look, I've seen it many times before. Animals, vampaneze, the look's the same. It's the look of death reflecting in your eyes. That's how she looked at me. It's the looks she's trying to hide form me.

OOOO

Mr Crepsley was preparing me for tonight's show in his van. We didn't have madam Octa anymore but, Mr Crepsley knew e couple of magic tricks. He started going through the routine, but my mind was elsewhere. It just bugged that someone could think of me that way. If it were a vampaneze fine, sure, I can deal with that. However, this was someone I was practically living with and I wouldn't feel comfortable until I sorted it out.

"Vampire Mountain to Darren. Vampire Mountain to Darren"

"Huh"

"We are about to perform and you are in your own world. Tell me, is it nice there?"

"It would be if someone didn't think I was out to kill them"

"Are you still sore about that?"

"Yes dammit! All I did was help out and now I look like I got marked by the vampaneze!"

Mr Crepsley smacked me on the side of my head.

"Show some pity Darren" For what? I replied. I had done nothing wrong and even if I did scare her, why does she think I'm out to get her. Doesn't she realise It was just a frigin nightmare.

"It's not you she's terrified of Darren. It's who you look like" Now that got me stumped. Who the in the hell could I resemble that could put that might fright into her. Then I remembered.

"Who tried to kill before Mr Tall found her" Blunt and simple. Mr Crepsley didn't expect anything other than.

"Hibernius thought it you should not know this, but I think it is best you do. As long as it gets you off her case. You look a lot like her father Darren. Hibernius said that she has nightmares of her father and when you woke her up she thought he came to take her away. She knows you were only helping Darren, but when you appear to be someone else, especially if it is someone who scares you, it is difficult to look at you any other way.

" She wasn't given a start on life Darren, so if you see her again, try and smile." Mr Crepsley scowled at me then left the van without saying anymore. Before he was out of sight, I stuck my head out the doors.

"Thanks for the guilt trip back to my own world by the way!"

The old buzzard was right though. Now I know why she so frightened of me. Bloody hell. Her dad! I remember the times when I thought my dad would kill me for something I'd done, but her dad really tried to kill her. Crap, I have to go find her now or I'll never feel right again. Damm that Larten Crepsley, he knew he'd end telling me that so he waited till I started badmouthing her. Sly buger.

OOOO

I searched the entire camp for her, but no sign. Everyone was busy with the show so I couldn't if anyone had seen her. Unless the rest of the little people start talking then I'm going to have keep looking on my own. Guess what? They're still not talking. I eventually found, just not in the camp. She'd taken refuge under a large tree just a little distance away. I ran up to her.

_Wait. _I stopped._ She's scared of me and I'm about to go charging up to her. Yeah Darren, that's the smartest thing you've ever done. _I folded my arms and tried thinking of a way I could try and talk to her without making her wet herself. All I could do was stare at my feet. Then I noticed something that might just help me out.

OOOO

Now that I had focused on her, I could see that she's a really tiny kid. I felt embarrassed that she was close to winding me the other night. She's really skinny too, but Evra did say she never ate much.

I leaned next to the tree and watched her scribble away in paper pad. How she could see it let alone \draw in it is beyond me. I could barely see the pencil marks and I'm half vampire. Well, here goes…

"Hey what you drawing?" She didn't scream, thank the vampire gods. However, she clutched the pad tightly to herself and tried to back away from me. _Oh please let this work._

"Here I found this, maybe you could try and draw it if you like?" I handed her a little white flower that I found. I don't know what kind it is. Spiders were my thing, not flowers.

_Take the damm thing! Please! _She stopped scurrying away. Well that's one good start at least. I crouched down to meet her eye level but she kept her gaze away from mine.

"I'm…sorry I scared you the other night. And for shouting at you. I was in dumb mode that night. Sorry" Not even a single glance form her. I could catch a few twitches of movement in eyes from the flower back to the ground. I sighed and left the flower on the ground next to her and walked off. This was going to take more than a measly flower a few words of apology. I only walked a couple of feet when I felt a sudden tug on my jumper. Sarah was standing there, looking up at me with her paper pad covering half her face. I still noticed how she never exchanged looks with me. She held the pad up as high as she could. This could be the break I need. So, I took it off her. I had to strain my eyes to make out the lines and shapes.

_Woah! No way"_

"Did…did you draw this?" She gave a light nod. "Would you mind…if I, kept it, please?"

"Y…you mean…it doesn't…scare you?" she said in a faint voice.

"No, no." I crouched back down to her level again, but still she wouldn't look right at me. "It's good, I love it"

"Then why are you crying?" I reached up to my cheeks and found she was right. I had been crying and never even noticed.

"These are good tears. I'm just really you drew this"

"Who are they?" she asked. I pointed to each figure of the paper.

"That's my sister, Annie. And that's my mum and dad." I couldn't believe this. It was just like the photo I used to keep of them, but I got ruined years ago. How a kid draw something like this. She didn't even know them.

"You mean it's not…bad? I drew something good?"

"um…yeah., of course. This is my family Sarah. You can't get any better than this"

_Oh Crap _Not really the best of things to say to a kid who doesn't _have_ a family. I didn't have to worry though, especially when I could see the tiniest smile I'd ever seen cracking open on that gloomy little face of hers.

"I drew, something, good" Now, she was beaming. This was some kind of big deal to her. Suddenly she snatched the paper pad right out form my hands leaving a few paper cute. Before I could even say ow, she started running back to the camp. I followed after her.

By now the show had finished and all the performers were packing up they're things form the show. Luckily no-one saw me chasing her. That would have been all I needed right now. I followed her to Mr Tall's van where she was knocking on the door and calling his name. When he stepped out he looked worried from all the noise. Sarah stood of her toes and held the pad up to him.

"Mr Tall, I did it! I drew something good. I did it!" What the hell was he going on about? What freaked me more was that Mr Tall seemed to congratulate her.

"Darren helped me Mr tall" I don't think Sarah knew I was there. She never gave any indication of me. Hibernius knew. He looked straight at me and just smiled and nodded. I let them be and just let the sound of Sarah most likely rare laugh fill my ears. I don't know what I'd done, but I was glad I'd made her happy.

Later, back at the camp fire, I finally got an explanation form Evra about all the commotion. Turns out Sarah does have a talent.

"She a mind drawer"

"A what?" Asked Vancha.

"Sarah can draw what's on your mind. If she looks straight at you she can immediately draw what's on your mind. So far she's only been able to draw bad stuff; mostly people dying or just something bad happening to them" How he makes that sound like no big deal, I'll never know.

"Can't she just…not draw?" said Harkat. "I mean…it's not like she has…to draw them…with bad things"

"Actually she does. If looks straight at you then she can't, not draw. If she tries it just hurts. Don't make me give an explanation ok, it sounds as weird to me as it does to you"

Well, that explains a lot. She wouldn't look at me because she was afraid she'd draw something bad and why she was so surprised to draw something good.

"Hey Evra, think she'll do a coloured version if I asked?"

Phew! Sorry this took a while. I was having trouble getting small details in without them sounding to plain and simple. The next chapter will be better I promise, this is just a filler. I often do these for my fic just to fill in the gaps between big scenes. Hope it's not too boring.


	4. A wolfman called 'Lyca'

**Daddy's little freak  
Chapter 4  
A wolfman called Lyca **

Disclaimer: I do not own Darren Shan or any of the DS saga's characters. I  
only own Sarah and any other characters I decided to put in.

Hey everyone, sorry this chapter took such while but I've been busy with  
other fics and pics plus I'm back at school now and I'm a senior, so, you  
know, busy busy.  
Anyway, thanks for all your reviews they mean a lot, the next lot of  
reviews I get I'm going to leave the replies on the next chapter, just to  
see how that looks, so leave comments that I can fully reply please. I  
love all of you.

"Guys, hurry, you have to see this!"

Late at night, the show's over, everyone's relaxed or asleep and I'm  
running at top speed to a pair of Vampires, a little person a snake man  
looking like I'm going to piss myself. (please tell me I'm not the only  
one who finds this a bit out of the ordinary, even though it's my life  
we're talking about) And since when did I refer that lot to 'guys'?  
Doesn't matter. Too excited. They have to see this!

They followed me to one of the more secluded tents in the camp.  
The wolfman's tent.  
They shouted questions as we ran, Mr Crepsley even threatened to have me  
change Lilia's nappies for the rest of the month if I didn't explain, but  
I still ignored them. I'll regret that later.  
Once we reached it, I suffered a few slaps to the head and kicks to the  
shins. It was worth it though. When they saw what I was so worked up  
about, it was as if I could hear their apologies echoing form paradise  
itself. Hallje-fucking-lujah!

"How much do think Sam would have loved to see this, Evra?"  
Their mouths hung lower than granny pants-no wait, nothing's that saggy.  
I'll think of something better later-it was something hard to believe  
anyway.

The wolfman; a vicious man/animal that devours anything it sees until it  
dies. A raging beast with no thoughts, feelings or cares is playing! ( no  
joke here) And not on it's own. It was playing with Sarah!  
"Uh.Sarah?" Squeaked Vancha "What are you doing?"  
" Playing mirrors" she answered gleefully. And truthfully she was. Her on  
the outside of the cage-really close to it by the way-mimicking movements  
with the wolfman. They were unbelievably close to each other, she was a  
few centimetres from actually touching his hand. They mimed their hands in  
circles, crouched low the ground and spun around on their knees. I  
couldn't believe it when I'd seen it and neither could they. The wolfman  
doesn't go near anyone unless hypnotised or about to eat them. But, here  
he was; yapping and playing like a puppy!

"It appears Hibernius has found himself a wolfman tamer" said Mr Crepsley  
with a slight smile. I'll never get why he's so objective to showing a  
little amusement.  
"What's that?" asked Sarah suddenly. I laughed a little at her naiveté. It  
makes you feel so much older when someone younger than you asks you  
something you thought everyone already knew. I momentarily forgot where I  
was when I took a few steps to her. I started to answer her question when  
the wolfman sparked into life. His usual self looking more enraged and  
blood thirsty than before.  
He threw himself at the cage with such a force that it knocked the lock  
clean off the bars. Barely time to think-the wolfman lunging towards me

"Aaarrroooo!"

I blinked. My train slowing down enough for me to think.

The wolfman stopped immediately at that loud howl.

It wasn't his?

I took a stupid chance to look behind me to see who might have just saved my life. As I glanced at them a voice called out,

" Come here Lyca" I swung my head back to see the wolf just an inch form my nose. He took my slip up to move closer and now his rotten flesh breath was huffing into my face.

Instinct screamed at me to bolt it but that could set the wolfman off again. His eyes never wandered from mine and vice-versa. I was too afraid that if I looked away from him for even a nano second, he'll gut me. He crouched low, I suddenly had an image of my stomach lying on the ground at my feet. The desire to eat me burned evidently in his yellow, silt eyes. My fear reflected in the drool dripping from his snarling fangs.

Everyone says that the wolfman has no memory, only instinct and hunger. I doubted that so much right now. He remembered me and I would bet Vancha's green hair he could smell Sam's blood in me as fresh as the days he ripped him open.

Instead of attacking like I had anticipated he moved backwards, so slowly that you would've barely guessed he was moving.. He then made a swift turn, leaped from the spot and landed on top of Sarah! I darted after him, but stopped when I heard giggling. Giggling?

Yeah, giggling. Instead of gashing her throat and feeding on what spilled out he lapped her face with his tongue. The word 'ewww' sprung to mind but Vancha beat me to it. I expected the wolfman to react to that, however he just continued playing.

I edged away, hoping sarah would be safe long enough to get the wolfamn back in his cage. I whispered to Harkat to hurry and find a new lock. Evra went with him, he could find his way about the camp quicker than Harkat can.

I stood silently with Mr Crepsley and Vancha. All we could do for now was just stare. I desperately wanted to get that creature away from her before it changed it's tone.

It was never this difficult to predict what the wolfman would do. Bark, growl, eat and bark more. Pretty much just that if kept in the cage. Out side the cage; not exactly tough to figure out- kill at random will. The wolfman climbed off her after a few minutes and sat crouched just like a dog. I swear I saw him smile, maybe he could, he was part human. Sarah patted him on the head and scratched his ears as if he really were nothing but a harmless dog.

I think she forgot we were even there we were so quiet because she gave a loud yawn and rubbed her eyes (having frequent nightmares, she mustn't get much sleep) then the wolfman lay down in front of her and she cuddled up next to him. The both curled up together and they appeared to be asleep within a few minutes.

I could finally take full breadths again. My ribs felt like they would crack at the pressure of my pounding heart beats. Harkat and Evra arrived with the lock and Mr Tall.

How often is this group going to be this girl's unintentional audience? Mr Tall was able to separate the pair without waking them. How? I have no idea. Let's just see what the imagination can think of.

He put the wolfman away and fitted the new lock in no time. He scooped Sarah up and made a silent gesture for us to leave. While Mr Tall dropped sleepy Sarah off I sat with Evra and Harkat at the camp fire which was nearly out. We must have been away a good while, that was in full flame earlier. Morning was breaking, so Mr Crepsley and Vancha decided to head off for their coffins( well, Mr Crepsley anyway)

We were having an early breakfast when I was struck by a sudden thought.

"Do we have to call the wolfman Lyca now?"

I know, kind of cheesy. Try and guess how I can up with the name Lyca and you'll see that it wasn't all that creative. Oh well, thanks for all the reviews so far and remember to keep doing so. I'll try to update a bit more frequently. Promise.


	5. Daddy Darren

**DADDY DARREN**

I found her crying all alone in her tent. Nightmares torture this poor kid every night like some sort of disease and on each of those nights, Mr Tall would be there to try and make her feel her better. I always thought he accomplished that, until tonight.

Mr Tall was in the middle of a late show, so Sarah had only herself to hold. That's also how I found her, withdrawn into a tiny ball and weeping into her knees trying to muffle the noise.

"It's ok Sarah. You're safe now" I barely had a clue what I was doing. I was only copying what Mr Tall does every night, but this doesn't feel very fulfilling. Are a couple of hugs and you're ok's supposed to be enough? It didn't feel that way. All I could feel was a miserable, crying kid in my arms.

Is this how Mr Tall feels? Useless? Or am I doing a something wrong?

My instincts were telling me other wise. Mr Tall may be something supernatural, but I doubt he can make someone like Sarah feel better from only doing this. But, what can I do that Mr Tall hasn't been able to?

So I just held her and whispered empty words.

I was startled when she suddenly spoke. Her voice was jumpy and course from all the crying but, I managed to her say; "Can…we sit… the tree Darren?

I never expected it and felt it kind of a weird request, but none the less, we went to the tree. The same spot where we sort of made our first connection and hopefully where we can make new ones.

OOOO

The fact that Sarah seemed strong for her age was only made clearer. She barley required my help in climbing up; all she needed was a boost to get to the first branch. Maybe the Cirque has found itself a 'strongest girl in the world' act.

Once we reached the top we had a clear view of everything surrounding us. The sky was clear with the large moon illuminating everything in a white glow. The cool fresh air was welcoming and the smell of the nearby farmer's cut grass was like heaven to me.

When I glanced over to Sarah, I felt my heart sink again. I was hoping she would at least smile while up here. It isn't right for a kid to be this miserable. It made me wonder if Sarah had ever smiled before I'd met her? Sarah turned her head towards mine (keeping her eyes awayfrom mine as usual)

"Why I scared so much, Darren?" She squeaked.

"I…don't know, Sarah," Her lips pouted and fresh tears were gathering in the corner of her eyes. She brought a hand up in an attempt to hold them back.

"Why I always cry? I don't like it. No-body else 'round here cry"

"Well, you've had more to deal with" Oh god what the hell am I supposed to say. I'm not equipped for this! I don't know the full story of what Sarah's been through; although, I knew it was far from happy families.

Seeing Sarah on the brink of tears again was making me panic. I darted my eyes in all directions in a desperate search for something to change the subject.

_Come on. Come on! Something! Anything! BINGO!_

"Hey Sarah" I said with a bit of over enthusiasm. "Ever been swimming before?"

OOOO

We were camped near a lake-not a particularly large one but large enough for what I had in mind.

I guess I sort of knew Sarah had never been swimming before and I half expected her to ask what swimming even was.

After finding an old T-shirt for Sarah and a pair of trunks for myself we headed for the lake. Sarah seemed eager-from what I could tell-to see what swimming was and when I looked down I could see the faint line of a smile looking back up at me.

I dived straight into the water excited myself since the last time I went 'swimming' was at my trails. The water was nippy but it warmed up quickly. When I asked Sarah to join me she just looked confused. _Charna's guts! Forgot already_.

"It's ok Sarah. Just do what I do" And she did. One big leap right from the spot just as I did, heading straight for the water. I caught her as she landed realising being in deep water for the first would scare her. She flapped her arms around and squealed a bit, but she settled down quickly enough. That's step one taken care of. (Or leap)

"Come on. I'll show you how to swim" I remembered how Dad taught Annie and me how to swim. I held Sarah's hands and told to kick her feet so she could get used to the water. Then, I held my hands under her tummy while she would try to swim using both her hands and legs. She caught on really quickly. She could move about freely and easily without my help in no time. She soon discovered the fun in splashing too and I soon felt like I was taking the water maze trial all over again. It was great hearing her laugh so much and I had a feeling that it was first in long while.

After a while Sarah looked pretty tired and the water wasn't getting any warmer. I grabbed one of the big towels and carried Sarah back to dry her off.

She was really fascinated with small fire I lit up. She gawped at the tiny sparks flying form the flat rocks I struck together. I wonder if I was ever like that? Completely intrigued by any little thing. I sat with my legs in a basket for Sarah to sit in so I could dry her. She didn't really seem to mind that she was half naked. I guess she hasn't developed a concept of embarrassment yet. For a while we just sat staring at the fire with me still holding Sarah in my lap.

"Darren?" she said.

"Yeah?"

2Why could you have not been my Daddy?"

"What?" I asked, caught off guard.

"You look like my Daddy but, he not nice like you. How come he's my Daddy and not you? You much better that a really Daddy"

_May the gods of the vampires save us from honest children_

I bit hard on my lip to hold back the lump forming in my throat. Those few words were having me on the verge of tears. I blinked them back hoping Sarah hadn't seen them and cleared my throat as best I could.

"I…I don't know Sarah. But, thanks" I couldn't think of anything to say. What could I say? This was so sudden and unexpected. What had she been put through to make her that _I _was her dad?

"Darren?" Oh-no, what now?

"Yeah?" I said warily.

"You won't never go away will you?" Oh lord what now? Say no? But that wouldn't be true. The war of the scars is still inaction and I might have to leave any day now. Say yes? Then I'd be crushing the only signs of spirit I'd ever seen in her.

"I, might have to go at some point Sarah. But, that doesn't mean I'll be gone. It's…it's like your mummy; she might be here with you but, you still remember her, right? Which means she's not really gone. It'll be the same with me"

There was a brief pause where I realised what I said maybe wasn't all that encouraging.

"Hey Sarah? I don't much about being a dad but I know how to be a brother"

A brother?"

"Brother's can be better than dad's. You can share stuff with each other that you wouldn't want to tell anyone else. And brothers are easier to talk to when you're in trouble. Plus, brother's are way more fun" I stopped myself from rambling on more. How the hell is this helping? Although, when I caught sight of a wide smile my heart jumped. The smile quickly disappeared but only into my chest where Sarah buried her face in. Her small arms wrapped around my waist.

"I'd like a big brother" she mumbled

After a while I felt Sarah's breathe lingering. She fell asleep in that position. I adjusted myself carefully so her head was resting on my arm. I held her tiny hand in mine, feeling totally lost in the moment.

"Well, this is cute" The sudden voice caught me by surprise. When I looked up I saw Mr Crepsley leaning against the tree, arms folded and that scar length smirk I've always despised.

"Um…hey…what are you doing here? Isn't there a show on?" Mr Crepsley sat down next to me.

"My part is finished. So I decided to keep you company since everyone is busy with the show. It seems Sarah beat me though" There was another short silence while Mr Crepsley threw some of the branches I'd collected onto the fire.

"That was very kind of you Darren"

"Well I couldn't exactly leave her to cry all alone in the dark now could I?" I knew he referring to what just happened but I was deliberately trying to avoid it.

"Actually Darren, you could have. Many here would. Some would check to make sure she was not hurt and just left her for Hibernius to deal with"

"Why? She's only a kid" I exclaimed

"You have experienced how she is after nightmares, Darren. She frightens others. Even the adults"

I groaned. I wanted to beat the crap out of anyone who would leave a kid to cry all alone. But, Mr Crepsley did have a point.

"Why do I feel this way Mr Crepsley? Why did I say and do all that? It's not like I had to or anything"

"Because you know what it is like Darren, to lose your whole family. You may not realise this at first but you want to be her family because she never had one to begin with"

I couldn't believe it; yet, I knew it was all true. I laughed a little at the realisation of it all. Mr Crepsley patted my shoulder.

"You are very lucky Darren"

"Why?"

"Vampires do not exactly have the chance or choice to have a family again," I thought about that for a moment. I really missed being a brother. Looking at Sarah made me think of Annie and how much I missed her. Sarah was nothing like Annie but I felt the same need to watch out for her in the same way.

"What did he do Mr Crepsley?"

"Excuse me?"

"Her dad. What did he do to make her this way?" I was starting to let curiosity get the better of me. Sarah's past wasn't mine to question, but maybe I help more if I know more.

"I do not think you need to know Darren. It is not something I would enjoy telling"

"Please" I begged, "I know MR Tall trusted you enough to tell you what's she's been through. So can't you trust me enough to do the same?"

"Fine" The guilt trip technique. One of Annie's specialities. "She was going to die Darren. By her father's hands"

That, I never expected and I kind of wished I'd never asked.

If it weren't for Mr Tall she'd have died horribly and no-one even knew she existed"

"How did he find her?"

"Even he is not entirely sure but it is not necessary. All that matters is that she has a big brother to look for her now"

Ok, i've noticed how i seem to n end my chpaters with one liners. Does that get annoying. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. THis one was inspired by the sone, 'You'll be in my heart' by Phil Collins. Thanks and please review!!


	6. Reality is Harsh

Daddy's Little Freak

Chapter 6

Reality is Harsh

It's that time of the year again; when sun and rain can't seem to make up their minds. One days it's like summer in July, the next you'd think a giant dog jumped in the ocean that's right next to you. Anyway, on this particular day the sky's were grey, the trees shuffled with chilly winds and Sarah had fallen asleep in the high grass

She awoke as the clouds darkened and the rain began to fall. Sarah had a habit of just falling asleep any old place; she slept very little and would avoid it as long as possible. Literally she would just drop to the ground like a fly in a bug zapper. Once she even fell asleep on a branch in her tree and fell off. Luckily Vancha was picking at his toenails right underneath her so no damage that time.

Sarah woke up to just herself. Before she took a nap in the grass she was surrounded by tents and vans. Now, nothing but long green and brown fields stretching for miles. The wind picked up with a loud whistle and Sarah clutched her bare arms. All she had was a simple t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans. It was bright and sunny first thing this morning, no-one would believe weather like this was on it's way. Her head darted around, looking for a sign that someone she knew was near, but nothing. She shook form the cold and fear. She was confused and scared. Sarah could feel the rain drops getting heavier as they drizzled her arms. She could hardly see through the wall of water forming around her. Her skin, hair and clothes were soaked in no time. Yet, she stood there planted to the spot trying to understand what was happening.. Suddenly, lighting flashed form the sky, snapping Sarah out of her daze. She screamed and covered her ears. Another flash caused her to jump in fright. She started to run. The ground was slippery with rain and mud. Each the lightning struck Sarah would dart in another direction in an attempt to get away but would fall face first into the growing mound of mud. She kept calling the names over the loud sky drums but no-one answered, no-one came to find her. She was cold, terrified and once again alone in a dark and strange world.

* * *

EARLIER THAT DAY…… 

It's moving day. Time to pack up all the gear to move to a new destination, sell tickets, put on an unforgettable show or two and then start all over again. The day before moving is always a huge bustle of people packing their vans and loading equipment form here to there so, everyone had their part to help make it all go faster and smoother. Even the kids have their parts to play; Shancas helps out with the snakes and Urcha helps Merla to pack up all their boxes. Even Lilia tried to put her toys away but would end up taking them all back out again to play with them. Sarah had her own job too. She was too small to taje down her tent so all she had to do was pack up the few possessions she had. Since that took up little time she was eager to help out any way she could however, everyone felt she was too small to help out. But, once or twice I caught lifting the heavy boxes into some of the vans.

(How is this kid so strong)

Since Mr Crepsley sleeps during the day it was my job to make sure his things and mine were packed away securely. Quick and easy except for the coffin which need an annoyingly number of lock and straps to keep secure while the van is moving and they make a lot of noise too so it takes twice as long to get it done because of Mr 'Don't wake me or you die horribly' Crepsley. By the time I'd finished it was time to go. Before we got going I quickly asked Merla where the kids were in case she needed help rounding them up. She said they were all sound asleep in the back of the van. I should have checked though. How was Merla supposed to know that I assumed Sarah was in the back too? Sarah wasn't her responsibility and she was busy getting her own family together. I only realised this after we had travelled miles to our new location. It was getting close to dinner time and I was looking for Sarah. I didn't like missing meals considering how thin she is. She need her food. After an hour with no luck I starting to panic. I had searched everywhere and asked everyone but nothing. Where could she be? I kept thinking. We were in a new place so I guessed that she wouldn't have too far, new places scare her a little. Finally I told Mr Tall which felt like walking the mile. I expected the uproar of the century but, instead Mr Tall just smeared his down his face, stretching the skin. He must be more worried than angry.

I feel this is all my fault. I'd been watching Sarah for the better part of a month now and with all the time we'd spent together I really considered her my responsibility. I made that clear with Mr Tall but he just waved his hand at me.

"You never brought Sarah here Darren. You are not responsible for anything that happens to her. I am." He covered his eyes like he was going to cry but I felt it was more like was he trying to hide his shame. "That girl is my care and I now she's missing because I busy" He growled out that last part. I t was strange seeing MR Tall act this way. Not strange that he was concerned, jus the way he was acting. He's always so calm and cool like nothing could ever break him. Now, you could actually see panic sweat dripping form him forehead.

"I'll find her Mr Tall. I promise"

"That's not what I'm worried about Darren"

"What do you mean?" He never answered but the look in his eyes didn't inspire anything positive.

"It's growing dark and those clouds spell nasty weather. We'd best hurry if we are to get back to our last stop in time."

"We left her behind?" Idiot. Why didn't I think of that sooner?

"Yes Darren. I did"

* * *

Sarah's hands shook as she held them in front of her. The finger tips were scraped red raw and stung like hot needles. In a desperate attempt she had climbed her tree. She was too small to reach the branches on her own so all she could do was dig her tiny fingernails into the bark and haul herself up. This was the only place she felt- somewhat- safe. She tried to think. Something has happened but she couldn't understand what. Why was she all alone? _Darren. Where are you? I'm cold. I'm really cold. I wanna go home"_

The rain was so heavy it pushed through the leaves making sure Sarah kept thoroughly soaked. "_I don't like being alone. I don't lie the dark. I see Daddy in the Dark Make him go away. Bad things happen inn the dark. Make it go away. Make him go away Mr Tall. I don't want him to take me away. He'll lock me away inside and I'll never see you. Darren wont be able to play with me. I won't get to climb trees or swim anymore. Don't let Daddy find me. Not like last time"_

Sarah remembered her first tree. How happy she felt to breadth air in a new way. It like she was breathing for the first time.

"_Were you even real Darren? Whenever Daddy hit me I would sleep and think of a nice place. When I fell, did I just make Mr Tall up? Eevrtime I wake form with Daddy in my head am I really just sleeping? This tree, it's just like the one outside the old apartment. Daddy's gonna be mad if he sees me outside. He's gonna hit me again. I don't care if it was a dream. I want Darren and Mr Tall back. They nice to me. They make me feel happy even when I get scared. I don't wanna be awake no more._

"Sarah!" _I can hear Darren. Does that mean I'm asleep/_ "Sarah!" _Don't wake up! Don't wake up! Don't wake up! _"Sarah! Where are you?" _Why can't I see Darren? I can still fee the rain. Do I feel stuff when I sleep? I don't know. I feel daddy hit me and feel Darren hug me. Which is real? _"Sarah!"

"Darren!" Sarah reached out as if Darren were right there in front of her. She leaned too far and fell form the tree. There was aloud snap as she landed hard on the ground. Sarah wailed in pain but still screamed for Darren at the top of her little lungs. She pushed herself with her good arm as best as she could. Mud was smeared over her face and the rain was like tiny stones battering away at her small frame. There was a shapeless blur in the distance. "Sarah!" It yelled

"Darren!" She ran. As cold, tired and in as much pain as she was, she ran. The blur was running too. It grew larger and larger as they got closer. Just as they were about to touch Sarah jumped with all her might. Darren fell to knees and caught her in his arms. You're real!2 she cried "I never made you up! You're really here!"

* * *

Why did she say that? 

'You're real?' What was that supposed to mean? I didn't have time to think about that though. Sarah's soaked to the bone and shivering like mad. And it wasn't until I got back to the camp that I noticed her arm was sticking out at a bad angle. By the time we got back the rain had finally stopped and the clouds parted enough for some moonlight to shine through.

Hardly anyone will be up at this time, thankfully. Sarah was been asleep in my arms the whole time I dried and changed her. She was still cold to the touch so I set up a small fire and sat as close as I could to warm her up. Now that I stopped and sat down I suddenly wondered: where'd Mr Tall go? I must have been in such a hurry into get Sarah into some dry clothes that I completely forgot about him. That made me feel guilty. I mean, Mr Tall must have been as worried about Sarah as I was wasn't he? Maybe I should go look for him?

"I'm right here Darren"

* * *

EARLIER…… 

Darren just whisked her away as if Sarah were immediately his responsibility. When really she was Mr Tall's and he failed her.

"Hibernius. Are you alright?! _I must be losing my hearing. Normally I can hear a mile away even when he's sneaking._

"Not entirely Larten.

"May I ask why your face look's like a bag a of rats?" MR Tall sighed heavily and rubbed a hand over his forehead.

"I let my mind become so concerned about the Cirque that I forgot about who mattered most. And she had to pay the price for it. There was many things Larten could have said to comfort his good friend. However this was something that Mr Tall had to sort himself. His guilt couldn't be settled with kind words, no matter who they came from.

"I think, you should talk to Darren about this Hibernius"

It's strange; I've always thought of Mr Tall as this unbreakable, iron coated shell. But the look on his face when he sat down next to me, the way he twiddles his hands and kept his head lowered made him look, human. Or a little boy struggling to find the right words to express himself.

"I'm sorry Darren"

"For what?"

"For….letting myself become dependent on you" I felt confused.

"What do you mean dependent?

"I know you think that this is your fault Darren. That Sarah was your responsibility and you let her down in your duty to keep her safe. When I'm the one who failed her"

"But, Mr tall-

"NO Darren. There is no excuse. I'm a disgrace"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This can't be Mr Tall. Why does he think this is all his fault? Stuff like this just happens sometimes, that's all. The important thing is Sarah's safe now. She's with those who care about her. Why can't he see that? It could have been a lot worse that it had, but it's not. He needs to get that through his head.

"You're wrong Mr Tall" I said softly

"What?"

I took a deep breadth, hoping I'd speak as boldly as I'd could "You think you're a disgrace just because I spend my free time with her? I wouldn't have even known she existed if it weren't for you. Who's the one who brought her here? Who's the one who gave her a home? Who spent every night cuddling her while she cried from nightmares. Who saved her?"

"Darren…I…I" he sniffed. Did, I just make Mr Tall cry? Vampire Gods! He's crying! OK, maybe not full, blown out, teary crying but still. Where's half that crap come form? I just spoke to MR Tall like I was the adult or something. OH Crap! What do I do? What do I do?

"Um…uh…bandage!" Here, hold Sarah 'till I get a bandage and sling for her arm" Ina panic I just thrust Sarah right into his arms and made a dash for it. Before I left I nervously said, "Besides, I'm sure seeing your face will perk her right up when she wakes up, then I left.

I fought back he tears as best as I could but Daren's words really touched me. Maybe I'm not as disgraceful as I thing I am? I can't change what happened but I know I can make it right. There are several people around here who wouldn't making taking on an extra job or two. Then I'd have more time to spend with Sarah other than late at night.

"Mr Tall?" She stirred in my arms, waking form sleep.

"Hi sweetheart" I said in my best voice but she saw though me.

"Why are you crying? I wiped my face like it would make her forget them.

"I'm just, happy to see you. That's all" I am happy. I don't think I have ever been happier that I have now. All my worries just withered as soon as I saw those shiny blue eyes of hers.

"My arm hurts" she muttered.

"You had an accident, honey. Darren's getting you some bandages some to help it" Just as I said Darren's name, her eyes grew slightly wider, like she just remembered something.

"I had a nightmare again. Did I fall out of bed? Is that how my arm hurts?"

She doesn't remember? Well, maybe it's better this way. I don't like lying to her but what good will it do to say, 'oh, we left you behind in the rain and fell out of tree and broke your arm'?

"It's O.K now sweetheart. You're safe and sound now"

Yay!! I uploaded a new chapter!! This was originally meant to be 2 chapters but i fet they were kinda short so i thught they would be better as one. Neat, huh? Anyway, this will be the last chapter for a while, i've got exams so the next chapter won't be up 'till the summer. Sorry, but i really want to pass these exmas otherwse i would have finished all my stories by now. Cya soon and hope you all a great easter, just don't get fat on the eggs ok.


	7. Learning to breath

After what happened that night I decided Sarah needed a bit of a confidence boost. I want her to understand that even when she's all alone or when things go wrong that there are still people out there who care for her and will do anything to keep her safe. She's just a kid so I don't think simply telling her that will make it clear. She needs to see it. Also, it would be a good idea if she wasn't so dependent me or Mr tall for company. That's when the idea hit me.

I offered to take Shancus and Urcha off Merla's hands for a while. I can't believe I never thought of this sooner. It's exactly what Sarah needs, friends her age. I wonder why they've never played together before now? Merla seemed more than happy to let me take the boys away, something to do with Shancus and a bottle of expensive snake oil.

We started walking to a near by park that looked it had been abandoned quite a while ago but still looked in tact and already the atmosphere felt tense. I don't think I've ever seen Shancus this quiet for so long. Why do they look so nervous? The silence broke as soon as Shancus saw the tire swing. He dashed straight for it and leaped right into it. He looked like a green donut filling. Urcha was close behind and was climbing on top of the tire trying to shake Shancus out. Sarah was still by my side clutching my hand. She looked so small. Her other arm hung limp in a sling and her skin looked pale with dark circles rimming her eyes. It reminds of those kids I would see on the news who got addicted to drugs at the age of twelve.

"Don't you want to go play with them?" I asked.

"They don't like me" her voice makes her sound even smaller.

"How do you know that?"

"They scared of me. I heard them talking once and they said when I scream at night it wakes them up and scares them.

"Oh" Was all I could think to say. It seemed kind of unfair that they would ignore her but then, I did the exact same thing didn't I? I tugged Sarah over to the swing, maybe if they just see how much like them she really is they'll ease up a little. It went quiet again until I gave Shancus a firm push on the swing. There was a loud "Whoa!" that went high in the air and came back down again. Urcha wanted a go too and kept pestering Shancus to get off. When it came to Sarah's turn there was a faint smile across her face. I helped her in and she finally started laughing again, getting louder whenever she got higher. I'll give her a great big push. That'll get her smiling, I thought proudly. And…push!

There are times when I forget my own strength. This was definitely one of those times. It didn't help that Sarah wasn't even holding on. Thank the Vampire gods for Vampire super speed. I _just _caught her. Shancus and Urcha came running up behind us.

"You're supposed to hold on you dafty," said Shancus in between fits of laughter. Just as I was about to give him a scolding…

"Do it again!" She squealed.

Things went smoother after that; the park had a huge set of monkey bars and a roundabout but all they kept asking was to go 'flying'. Eventually Shancus was getting bored and started to tease Sarah a bit. Nothing to nasty just kiddie teasing but it's not really fair on Sarah. He kept making of her pale skin, saying she looked like a ghost and how slow she was at running compared to him. I kept telling him off for it but it didn't do anything. _Note to self: next time, bring the wolf man._ Suddenly I could hear music: loud, ringing bells playing the tune, 'Mary had a little lamb'. I looked around, a bright yellow van with a giant ice cream cone on the top was just stopping at the road close to us. Hopefully, that'll shut Shancus up for a bit. I ran to it and bought one for each of us. When I gave Sarah hers she looked confused. We all sat up against an old wall and dove into the cones happily except for Sarah and wouldn't you know it, Shancus sees the opportunity.

"What's up with you? Don't you know how to eat ice cream?" She looked closer at it and a tiny bit touched the tip of her nose.

"Is that what this is?" Jeez, she really didn't' have a life before now.

"Your kinda dumb you are"

"Shancus" I said warningly.

"Well she is" he wined "I mean, who doesn't know how to eat an ice cream. No wonder you get hurt so much. You must be so daft that you keep-"Splat!

Out of the blue Urcha smashed his cone right into Shancus' nose. _Shancus: half snake boy, half bird!_

This will be the girliest thing I've ever said but, awww. Urcha just stood up for Sarah. If that's not cute then call me Murlough. We all stared at Shancus and his 'nose' for a moment then Shancus pulled the cone off and tossed it back at Urcha. Shancus ducked when it thrown back again and this time it landed on Sarah's head. Urcha jumped to his feet and shouted: "Ice Cream Fight!"

The horror…the horror…and the stickiness. I don't think Merla was too pleased either about me bringing home her two sons covered in ice cream. It could have been the evil glare or the growl or how she threatened to whack my head with her ears every time I turn around, who knows for sure really. Mr Tall didn't seem to bothered by it though. Maybe he's just happy Sarah had a good time. He picked her up and took her away to get cleaned up. As I watched tem leave I felt myself smiling as heard Sarah talk about how much fun she had then I felt really uncomfortable as I tried to pull an ice cream out of my backside. I hope next time Sarah will go up to Shancus and Urcha on her own. I want her to become good friends with them. It's not healthy for a kid her age to be all alone but I don't think I have to worry anymore. And who knows, maybe Shancus will even ask Sarah to come and play.

* * *

Sorry for the long overdue update. I lost my mojo for this story and i don't like forcing myself to write. But a few days ago i felt like writing and here we are. Thanks and remember to review 


	8. Mr Tiny

"Sarah come on! It's lunch time. Get down from there!" Her head popped out from the trees like a giant bird in a nest.

"Aww, do I have to Darren? I like it up here"

"I know you do but you only get dinner once a day. You'll be hungry all night if you don't come down" She wined but I knew she couldn't wait to get something to eat, she loves her food but will never admit it. She no longer needs my help to climb up and down now but she does need coaxing from time to time.

"What is for lunch today?"

"Uh…?"

"You don't even know?! Vancha's right about you" What? What's Vancha been spreading about me now? All I could squeeze out of Sarah was: "It's a secret" I'm going to kill Shancus for this. It's all his fault that Sarah likes teasing me so much. Still, I should be glad. She's so confident now. Everyday used to be a worry. Would she cry? Would she get hurt? Would she get lost? Now, it's like having another Shancus. You're always on your feet to make sure that little trio aren't getting into mischief. The other day we thought Madam escaped from her cage, turns out that bunch just swapped the cage for an empty one to freak out Mr Crepsley. I'm the one who got an ear full though. Although I guess it's the side of her I wanted to surface. I'm finally seeing her as the care free, happy kid she should be.

After she picked out the leaves in her hair she looked up and said: " Darren, who's that with Mr Tall?" When I looked over to where she was pointing my stomach clenched. It was Mr Tiny and he looked furious, even from this far away. There were a few Little People there too and they seemed to be the focus of Mr Tiny's rage. I wasn't sure if Sarah could hear them form here but I could.

"What is the meaning of this Hibernius?" He viscously gripped one of the Little People by the coaler of their hood, picked him up and shook him in front of Mr Tall. He then took hold of the sleeve and ripped it to shreds.

"These are my Little People! _I_ name them! No-one else! Now who is responsible?" I'm guessing he's referring to the name tags Sarah gave the Little People. For the last month, which I was completely unaware of until Harkat told me, Sarah was growing really attached to the Little People and they in turn were fond of her. Other than Harkat, everyone makes as little contact with them as possible. However, Harkat told me that they were all talking to Sarah like she was one of them. I've got no idea how she does it but she has a knack for it. Harkat only started speaking because Mr Tiny told him to. The Wolfman was one thing but Little People playing jump rope is a little too much for me to handle. She's grown so fond of them that she even gave them all names. ( She learned embroidery from Truska and hasn't stopped since) Harkat told me that Mr Tiny had given them all names when they were made but they preferred the one's Sarah gave them. Maybe she just treats them more like humans than Little People.

"Darren, what's going on?" I suddenly became aware of Sarah again. This is bad.

"Sarah let's go. Mr Tall will take care of it" I pulled her arm but she wouldn't move.

"Darren, he's hurting them" There was desperation in her voice. This must be bringing back bad memories for her. Mr Tiny tossed the Little Person to the ground. When the others tried to help him up Mr Tiny attacked each one of them. He ripped their robes apart, kicked them to the ground and just shouted at them like worthless dogs. More for Sarah's sake than my own I wanted her away from here but she wouldn't budge.

"Make him stop Darren" She whimpered, the tears climbing into the corners of her eyes. "He's hurting them. Make him stop" Just as I was about to pick her up and carry her away from this torment she escaped my grip and was running straight towards them. Mr Tiny picked up another Little Person but just before he got to do any more damage his attention was quickly caught by Sarah.

"Stop!" She threw her arms straight out in front of her and tackled Mr Tiny. I felt my mouth drop to the ground like a dead weight as Mr Tiny and the Little Person fell to the ground. It think the same thing happened to Mr Tall too. This has never happened before. Hell, no one has barely even raised their voice to Mr Tiny before. In all the confusion I didn't even realise my feet were moving. I saw Mr Tiny pick himself up, adjusting his glasses but strangely he didn't look mad.

"Well, what do we have here?" his calm voice was even more intimidating than him shouting, if that's possible. "Do you have any idea who I am child?"

"I don't care! You were hurting my friends! It's not right to hurt people!" I've never seen her so full of fire and fury but I can't help think it's going to be for nothing. Mr Tiny began dusting himself off.

"But didn't you just hit me? What kind of logic is that?"

"You wouldn't have stopped if I didn't. You're a bad man" It sounds stupid but when Mr Tiny stands up straight he looks really tall. I have a bad feeling in my gut about this.

"I think it's time you were put in your place and that learn the consequences for going against Desmond Tiny" I ran as I saw him extend his arm to grab her. A Little Person got there before me though. He stood in front of Sarah with his arms out wide. "What do you think your doing? I see." I don't like that tone he's using. It can only mean something bad. "Then you'll make a nice ice breaker for my lesson" He reached again and touched the Little Person on the head. He exploded. I was just three feet away when it happened. There was blood, bones, organs and grey skin everywhere. I threw my arms to protect myself. When it stopped I realised Sarah hadn't made a noise. Shouldn't she be screaming or something? I found out why. In the moment of shock Mr Tiny had Sarah by the throat in one hand and his other hand was pressed against her forehead. She was deadly still.

"Desmond please" pleaded Mr Tall "She's just a child she doesn't know any better"

"Exactly. Now she will" He let her fall to the ground. The life returned to her body slowly. Her hands shook as she brought them up to her eyes. She rolled to her side and curled up into a tight ball. I was almost afraid to move until Sarah wailed like she was in terrible pain. I scrambled to the ground pulling her into my arms as she cried her heart out.

"You know" said Mr Tiny in a proud tone. " You look just like her. I bet you'll end up turning out just like she did. So weak and feeble." Her? Her who? Sarah suddenly stopped crying then out of nowhere she broke free from my arms and charged at Desmond. She screamed loud enough to make me cover my own ears. Again she tackled him to the ground only this time she went down with him. She pinned him and screamed bloody murder as she threw her fist wildly at Mr Tiny. I Just sat there. I couldn't move. The shock of the whole thing was too much.

"Take it back!" She roared. "I don't wanna see it! I don't wanna see-"Mr Tiny caught her fist.

"I was wrong. You're more like _him_" I don't know how but it was the air was growing thicker by the second. As if what ever Sarah was feeling at that second was being amplified and pumped into the air. She crawled off Mr Tiny and slumped on to the grass, ignoring the pieces of carcass around her. I moved and knelt by her side. She was holding her hands in front of her, looking at them like they were some kind of abnormality. It was the look on her face that wounded me though.

"Sarah?" I croaked "Are you ok?" As I leaned in closer she whispered: "No" She said it over and over again getting louder each time until finally she screamed. It was like watching a mirror break. Once a beautiful piece of glass, so fragile and innocent that it tells no lies until, a crack appears. It gets bigger and bigger, as if everything that it's managed to keep away is pushing it's way through. Watching Sarah was like watching a mirror shatter; everything that held it together was falling apart until it's nothing more than broken glass. She ran. "Sarah wait!" Before I could go after her I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. It was Mr Tall and from the look on his face I already knew what he was going to say. So, I steeped aside and watched him walk away, following Sarah's direction.

"You're sick Desmond. What's wrong with you? She was finally happy. What did you do to her?" I could taste the hate in my own voice but I couldn't care.

"I only showed her what she is"

I'm a disgrace. Nothing more and everything less. Why did I just stand there? She needed me and all I did was watch!

"Hibernius!" Evra? He appeared behind me and he looks worried about something. "It's Sarah Hibernius. Have you seen her?"

"Yes" I answered calmly, probably more than I should have. "And now I'm trying to find her. Have you seen her?"

"She's in her tent now. What happened? Urcha came and got me for some reason, he wouldn't tell me because he was so panicky. I thought someone was badly hurt. I followed him and he led me to Sarah. Hibernius, she looked like she'd been throwing up for days. She was as white as a sheet and wouldn't talk when I asked her what was wrong. I had to carry her to her tent because she wouldn't move either" the more Evra talked the more I felt I had really let Sarah down more than ever.

"There's no need for you to worry any more Evra, thank you" I know it seems inconsiderate. He's just concerned for Sarah. He even offered to take her in when I first brought her to the Cirque. I guess he felt the same pain she did back then. I insisted I would look after her though, it was my responsibility and I'm making a _fine_ job of it.

I felt cold all over the closer I got to her tent and everything around it looked so dark and menacing. The inside was even worse. It was as if everything sad and miserable was growing like mould in here. Sarah was curled up inside her hammock, her back facing towards me. I could here these strange scratching noises and when I came close enough to see over her, I noticed it was her paper pad and pencil. What ever Desmond did to her it must be serious it if it's causing her to endure this. I can't see what she's drawing, her body is too hunched over but I can clearly hear her crying. I crouched down and gingerly touched her shoulder. Her muscles are tense, almost rigid.

"Go away" She mumbled. It was directed at me, surely. "Bad pictures. Go away. Bad pictures. Go away"

"Sarah" she gasped. She mustn't have realised I came in. Her face was soaked with tears and Evra was right, she did look she'd been sick. "I'm so sorry sweetie" she raised her arms up slowly looking so desperately scared. I picked her up and sat down with her in my arms, holding her close. I'm sure it's more painful for her than me but I can't bare this.

"I saw mummy. I forgot what she looked like but I saw her. I saw him too. There was blood…mummy was crying and…and.."

Please stop. Please stop Sarah. I can't bare it. I felt her grip my jacket tightly.

"My…Dad" There was so much hate in her voice that it actually scared me. "I saw my nightmare but it wasn't all fuzzy like it is in my sleep" This is torture and I let it happen!

"I…want to make it better but, I don't know how. I thought I took it all away when I found you. I'm useless. But I want you to tell me. I want to know how I can make it better" There was a long silence. I could feel my chest tighten and the lump in my throat was growing larger by the second.

"I just don't wanna think of him as my Dad no more. I don't wanna be like him. I don't wanna hurt my family"

"I'll do it" I said abruptly. "I don't know if I'll be any good at it but I know I'm better than him. If a dad is all you want sweetie then I'll do my best" I don't if it's the right thing to say but it just came out. In a way it was a relief to say it but at the same time I'm terrified. Do I have the right to ask for something like that? I've made such a mess already. Would this make it any better? Am I just being selfish? Suddenly I could hear thunder and moments later lightning struck. Sarah pressed her face into my chest.

"Daddy, I'm cold" I gently rubbed her back to calm her down. She really is scared of storms like this.

"Come on then sweetie. You can sleep in the van with me tonight. It's nice and warm in there"

* * *

Dude, this was a long chapter for me. I felt the last one was pretty short so i worked hard to make this one longer. also to make up for the last chapter being short i submitted this and the last chapter at the same time. Hope you enjoy. it might be a while before the next update but if I get new reviews then who knows 


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